tajuddeen with Torticollis

MashAllah

Here is my little man. It’s so hard to capture a smile from him, but he does smile readily, just not on camera. He will be 4 months soon, and is growing sooo fast mashAllah. Evidently, it’s hard to raise a newborn and a toddler. That’s the reason I’ve been MIA recently. Alhumdullilah for both of my sweeties, though.

Sorry, I have been missing in action. I was busy having a baby. Tajuddeen was born on April, 9th. He weighed 7lbs and 12.6 oz. A full pound more than Zakiyyah! He was born in the water, and showed his calm and easy disposition from day one. MashAllah.

I will post more later, inshAllah. But let me say that Allah has blessed me with two beautiful children, and a loving and devoted husband, and sometimes I wonder if I’m worthy.

Food for thought, that someone posted on a message board today:

Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Does it not please you (O Women!) that when you conceive from your husbands while he is pleased with you then that woman will receive such reward equal to that of a fasting person in the path of Allah and spending the night in ibaadat. When her labour pains commence the inhabitants of the earth and the sky are unaware of the stores of comfort that are prepared for her. When she delivers and breast feeds her child then she will be granted a reward for every gulp of milk, and if she had to remain awake during the night for the sake of her child, she will receive the reward of emancipating seventy slaves in the path of Allah. O Salaamat! Do you know who these women are? They are pious, upright, delicately natured but yet are obedient to their husbands and not ungrateful to them.”

new baby knitting

Originally uploaded by oldschoolmuslima

So, I have been knitting. Some things are for new baby. The sage/cotton pants and hats are for the new baby. Since I don’t know the gender, I kept them neutral. The pink sunhat amd the purple beanie are for a friend’s baby. She seemed to like them.

Firstly, on the special-ness aspect, I feel that having an un-medicated childbirth is just ONE aspect of her birth that made it special FOR ME. Other things that made it special were: having my mother present, having my husband there to love and support me through it all, hearing her first cries etc. It does NOT mean that these things made my child more special to me (I think I would be hard pressed to find anything that would make my Zuzu more special. She’s pretty much at special-ness overload). These are things that made her birth more special. So, why is it acceptable to say that my husband rubbing my back through contractions made my daughter’s birth special, but once you throw in a word about not using drugs, many women perceive that as a value statement. As though I am stating, “My birth is better than yours!!” That obviously isn’t what I’m stating at all.

I think that in some instances, drugs during childbirth are truly a gift from God. I recently read a book on the history of birth, and let’s not sugarcoat things, our foremothers had it rough. Reading through some of the descriptions of un-medicated cesarean sections made me queasy just thinking about it. However, I feel that drugs (not just epidurals, but also pitocin and others) are overused in America’s hospitals.  I just don’t want to inject myself and my baby with narcotics unless I feel it is absolutely necessary. I have tons of info to support my decision, but I don’t want to go into it now.

As far as the “tooth getting pulled” analogy. Usually people get their teeth pulled because the tooth is decayed, rotting, or causing some problem for the patient. My baby isn’t an obstruction to be removed s/he is a human who will be birthed the way women have been doing it for ages. Oh, and last I checked, a dentist will not pull a tooth on a pregnant women, but OBs use similar drugs on pregnant women all the time. Makes you go hmm…  

1. Get a pack and play for baby to sleep in. We plan to use the basinet portion for baby to sleep in until s/he outgrows it. (done).

      We got this one: 

2. Prepare two weeks worth of freezer meals that can be easily reheated during those hectic days after baby arrives (done).

       I made lasagna, shrimp and okra, and manicotti among other things. 

3. Wash and de-stain all of Zakiyyah’s newborn and 0-3 mos clothing. (done) I didn’t realize that breastmilk can leave some wicked stains on clothing. I was able to get most of them out with Oxyclean and hot water.

4. Clean and sterilize all bottles and breastpump parts (done). Actually hubby did this for me.

5. Obtain a stroller. (done) Zakiyyah has been using an umbrella stroller, which isn’t safe for a newborn. The stroller we used when she was a newborn is missing a wheel. I found this one on closeout, and it just arrived last week. Hubby put it together and I’m really happy with it.

6. Get a sling/baby carrier. (done) I am dead-set on wearing this baby. This is something I missed out on with zakiyyah. I thought she didn’t like to be worn, but turns out I was using a completely crap carrier. This time I found a Maya Wrap ring sling. They retail for $50, but I found one half-price at a consignment sale. Yay, for me! I should add that zakiyyah and hubby have been “test driving” it for me, and Zakiyyah actually likes being held by her baba using the hip hold. I don’t know how she’ll feel when she sees the new Little One using it. We may have to get a toddler friendly carrier just for Zakiyyah to use.

7. Wash infant carrier, and cover. (done). Just did this today, and glad I did. Hubby had to hunt down and wash the base aswell.

8. Knit a few items for the new Little One. (done) I was able to make some knitted pants and a matching hat, in sage green and white. I need to post a pic because they’re so adorable.

9. Write out thank you notes for my baby “sprinkle”. My mom threw me a small baby “sprinkle” mid-march, and I still haven’t gotten around to writing out the notes. Hopefully, I can finish that this week.

 10. Clean house. I can’t say this will ever be “done,” because there always seems like there is more to clean…oh well… 

Congrats on finding my new blog. This will be my new home. I tried to give up the whole blogging thing, but I must have an outlet for all of my rantings, ravings, and meanderings. Oh, and I’m sick of hubby nodding his head and not listening. At least from you, I get an occasional comment. So, this is just a welcome note. Hopefully, I will drop in again soon.

1. A Sound Education

The most important aspect of a sound education to my family, is knowledge of Islam. All praise to God, one of the first sounds my daughter heard upon being born was her father reciting the call to prayer into her ear. Before I teach my daughter anything else, I think it’s important to teach her about her religion. Right now, she is almost 2, so she mostly learns by example. She imitates my movements in prayer, and can say “Allah” and “Ameen.” I know that she doesn’t have an idea what those words mean, but it’s my job to teach her what those words mean and about the 5 pillars of her religion, slowly as she gets older.

Another aspect of a sound education is a strong knowledge of secular matters. I have a B.A, and Hubby has a B.S. Neither of us feels like we are “done” educating ourselves. We hope to inculcate the same love of learning in our children. I already read to Z, and we recite abc’s together and she can count t0 4. Not to brag of course I feel like just going to the grocery store can be a great learning experience for a child her age. She can learn the names of the fruits and vegetables, and to identify them by color. When we go to the Farmer’s Market, she loves to look at the live fish swimming in the tanks. This is learning. When she is of school age, I hope to maintain her love of learning, whether we decide to homeschool or enroll her in an Islamic School.

2. Sound Nutrition

Sound nutrition is so important these days. There is so much junk out there. I feel that, if children don’t eat well, they will not have the mental capacity and physical energy to fully ineract with the world around them. That may sound harsh, but I know there are many studies out there that prove that point.

To me, a sound nutrition starts with breastmilk, if mother is capable of nursing. I nursed Z, until I was six weeks pg with this pregnancy. She was about 20 mos.

As the child grows, incorporating fruits and vegetables (organic when possible) into the diet is a must. We also feed DD eggs, cheese, and yogurt. We do eat some meat, but not that often. Mostly chicken and fish.

Sound nutrition goes hand-in-hand with physical activity. This is something I have been lacking at lately. The pregnancy tiredness has really been getting to me. Anyway, when DD turns 2 we plan to enroll her in a dance class. For right now, we mostly go for walks, or go to the park.

3. Unconditional Love and Conditional Praise.

I will always love my daughter, but I will not always love what she does. I want to instill in a her sense that I will always love her, but I will not always praise her. When she misbehaves, it’s husband’s and my job to correct her.  This also means, that I have to be in tune with what she is actually capable of. For example, I know that Z is capable of putting her blocks away after she plays with them. So now, it’s her responsibility to put them away. I will not praise her until she has put at least half of the blocks away, and we’ll slowly build up until she has put all of them away on her own.

Praise does not always mean a gift or a treat. It can mean, “MashAllah, you’ve done such a great job putting your blocks away!” Followed by a hug.

As she gets older, the standard for praise will be raised. When she’s ten, I will not still praise her for simply putting the blocks away. By then she should be helping me clean the whole room, if you know what I mean. But this is where we’re at now.

Even when she does misbehave, I want her to know that that doesn’t mean she is a bad person, just that she did a bad thing.

So these are the principles I hope to raise my children by. You veteran mom’s, do you have anything to add??

Ok, so again, wassup with halal butchers?? When I go into most Halal stores,  sometimes it’s sadly the opposite. I know of some halal stores where the floors are sometimes dirty, the air smells strange, it isn’t unusual to find meat sitting out for only Allah knows how long, and sometimes the owners are just plain rude. Oh, and lets not forget the time I didn’t check a label and came home with expired mango juice, not a pretty taste, let me say. And at some halal store sells produce, you can expect brown lettuce, and spotted tomatoes.

Some “halal” store, even have the nerve to sell haram products. One meat store in my city sells loose cigarettes behind the counter to the non-Muslim clientelle.

At times, the waits are long. Some butchers can’t tell a t-bone from a filet, and they look at you crazy for asking for “exotic” stuff. You know, like lean ground beef and ground turkey.

The problem is, our standards have just about plunged as low as they can go. Unfortunately, many Halal butchers know that a lot of these stores are the same, so they will continue to sell us year old spices, and chicken that is nearly spoiled (yes, this has happened to me).

 And I know that, alhumdullilah, these store owners do a great service to the community, and even with all of their faults, I would rather buy my meat from them, than go to Publix, but still….WE HAVE GOT TO DO BETTER.